MOURNING WEEK

yesterday our own Indonesia ex President died. This country make one week to mourn for him. this feel so contradictive. just few days earlier the same week a lot of people protested for his trial n this country still on hold on that cases. but suddenly every mistake become blur (force to dissapeared?) n we have one week national mourning??

i realize i one of them who thinks it was feel better when he was th 1st man.on the other hand i also know a lot of things happen that been silenced for his best ( or ours? ) I heard what u dont know cant killed u. Then again about his corruption?? i dont know about this n i dont feel any different in my life if his still the president or put behind bars?

in my own opinion i see this situation so funny. When our people gain what we call freedom from protesting n force the goverment to heard our opinions but why we still import our food? why a lot of people starve to death n cant have education, health,safety.
Are we even ready to get the freedon that we want? Sometimes we have to be careful what we wish for coz u might have it.

hope this journey of handling the freedom that we have wont take long to cope. especially the people on higher places. coz it affect the people below them. who only have fighting spirits less than before. Hope they know that the people who fight for this so-called freedom had hopes n dreams.

i dream of living freely, free education till senior high,health insurance,better public transportation. Dont just follow the bad side of western but also the good side such as free education and based on skill, health insurance, social numbers, etc

i dont know what to say but to say that this mourn week will also be the mourning of our country past n future.

New Year New me???

HAPPY NEW YEAR =P

walau sdh lewat tapi masih terasa bgt aromanya. nulis tahun aja msh suka 2007.belum terbiasa kayaknya pdhal dah 2 minggu lebih nih.but this year although i wouldn said it was a resolution but like a plan for this year.

1. Forward to keeping money till 2009.
2. Post grad for becoming psycholog (compromise with my parents)

thats the whole picture of 2008 for me. but for each plan they hev heir own step.
im hoping for the number one i can tighten my need of shopping. not clothes or others but food =p cant help it to taste good food n expensive. also try my best to invest or saving every month.thats hard for me coz never get used to that skill of saving.but now im learning to write down my expense. but now i hev my own privilege of indovision in my room. that the cost that i dont want to cut off coz i stay at my room a lot when im in the house.

for thw second ne well it must help by my parents but i already hev their blessing. i just hev to find the best place who offer the best price huehehhe or maybe it will be postponed till 2009 to save some money. i also looking for scholarship.

back to work again...

peace n out

Happy Bday To Me

Happy Bday To Me ( Sept 17th, 2007 )

One more year has passed... a lot of things going on in my life. But like other phase of life there also ups n downs. In some way i grow but also stuck =p.

But i know something though...that i feel cozy with myself. i know me thats important. For couple of years ive a habit on my bday to go someplace alone n just think and off course eat. i love eat =)
thats the thing that i like in me. i like being with myself. i hev to keep that. sometimes u can feel lonely or needed somebody but it can go away if u know yourself.

i hev met a lot of people that dont feel comfort in themselves. thats why they can be alone.they need to socialize n sometimes or a lot of times they do things that they others like but stupid i a way. i know this can be happening in women n men. BUt i know for sure in women coz i am one =p
i feel sad n mad when i know or maybe my closest n dearest friend do something stupid just to be in love or for the one they "think" they love. Sometimes LOve can be justification for things that not supposed to happen. like cheating, affair, in love with someone that already hev gf/bf or even spouse?? they only give love words,gifts or hugs n kisses but they can give themselves bcoz they already give that to one man/woman in the name of God.

Love sometimes can be hurting but u hev to know it logic or just justification of needing someone. See the actions in the name of love not just the words.

I know it maybe shallow bcoz theres always layers of every things but just feel it. if it feels rights do it but if dont then just stop.

I love the blessing that God give me to know the grey areas but not deep on it. I thank God that He gives me lovely friends n families that keep my head on the ground =p

Peace n God Bless.

Secret Admire

Ill become one of the secret admire. i dont know if i can call it a secret anymore coz everytime i see him my face blushed.my face bertrayed me. he got this charisma that u can look but u can have.its not that i wanting him,i just simply admire him. first, not being hypocrit =p , his looks caught my eyes ( ddeeee..... ) then second his so humble. when u know him or his status and u see his attitude everyday n u will agree with me.

His quiteness and shyness share the same feelings with me.first time we pass by on the corridor i pull my guts to say good morning but he just passed by n dont want look at me. first it kinda hurt me but then i saw his friends testimonial about how shy he is....

i dont hink its wrong right to become secret admire, since i dont want to become stalker or anything near that.

BUt then again he so cute and adorable.how i can resist that

Closer to the edge

closer to the edge..............

thats the word that can describe myself from day by day that i walk through. Maybe this feeling accumulate coz its been long time since i meet u God. I starting to surpress n hide my real feeling bcoz i want everybody see im alright.but the truth the rage is hidden deep that even i can pretend.

im tired with the responsibility in office that i can even grasp. i try to hold on to one side but eventually the other side start to loosen up. it happens all the time. sometimes i just want ran away from all this.

why this words i keep hearing from others and when they say that words... i can calmly say that its human. Bcoz we are from flesh and blood that have our own need not to be burden. Need to fly away and be free. Alas we all have responsibility that take us to real word.

i so used to hide things and make my head fully loaded.sometimes i can cry suddenly when i saw a movie or just part of the scene. i know this is the symptoms of my tiredness (is that a word ?? ) whatever....

i really need to get things out of my chest. bcoz it affected my perspective of things. i start to think that i better left alone. i just need people to be around me but not relationship bcoz it full of hope n wanting. i like lying on my bed, watch tv, n call my friends that i wanted, hang out with people that i want n its all without hoping if that people want to or not.

it really exhausting this kind of relationship.they want a piece of me without have to give out something from them?? what is the rality of take n give?? everybody hev their own ego.... they want what they want period.

i can blabbing all day but still i know i need them but want to be free of them....

SUCKS...............

Sudah memasuki hari libur minggu ini...jakarta mulai lengang karena banyak yg mudik...walau di daerah gading kayaknya ga sepi2 amat krn tampaknya mayoritas non muslim...malah mal makin rame karena para pembantu udah pulang jadinya ga masak deh....

di rumah gue malah jadi kapal pecah karena lagi di cat n di renov kecil2an deh...ruangannya dibuat kayak dulu lagi diman ruang tamu los aja gtu...cuma untuk dapur yah disekat coz banyak yang hidung nya sensitif ma bau masakan pdhal pd makan kok enak2 aja ah huahahhhaaaa............. sensi atau terlalu dibuat-buat well i dont know. orang kan punya pemikiran beda2 iya ga.

Pernah ga lo ngerasain segitu ga bisa hormatnya lo ma org yg pdhal dr segi umur n posisi dia hrsnya dihormatin...bahkan tu org sendiri pernah bilang lo kok ga mandang g??? well jwban g adalah g ga bisa munafik. apalgi g udah pernah liat org itu buka topengnya n it hit me so hard n make step so deep inside that i cant erase. g ga pernah ngerasain begini but i reaaly eat my feeling... g menyimpan dalem2 but that person juga ga memberi contoh ya sudah begitu terus deh... i cant seem to think something nice n sincere from him?

have u ever felt like that? i hope not.coz it sucks u deep. g terkadang merenung napa g bisa sgini nya.se sebel nya g ma org ga pernah sampe se dalam ini ...mungkin i see his action everyday yah....jadi bukan makin baik tp makin parah...huahhhaaaahahaaaa...........

Do we have to please others??

Do we really need to please others all the time...although it risk our relationship? which do we choose when all that things collide together?
saat ini di otak g begitu banyak pertanyaan mengenai hubungan antar manusia. dari pertemanan, persaudaraan, pacaran, dsb. dimanakah skala prioritas kita?
sebegitu besarkah rasa tidak enak atau malu pada teman yg notabene adalah teman kerja kita? apa krn kita perlu secara bisnis maka org yg hub lebih lama atau lebih dekat akan dikorbankan??

can we really answer that ??

Dear Myself

Hello myself,

where have u been. ive been looking for u. we need to have a deep talk. about ur feelings, ur future, n everything that u really want in the future.
u lose urself easily and think too much. u dont want to let go but also dont want to hold on. u know everything in this world will be gone at some point. u have to realize it and u will be able to face it.

i know it hard sometime. but like the old saying.... time will heal...

why u always fall for the same hole. did u regret the past? we know better than that. we know it wont give us the future. or did u hope for something else. do u want to lose what u have now?

i know its hard but u have to put ur mind together. if u can handle it nomore. talk to me or someone u can depend on. ur not alone u know. u just afraid that if u show ur true feeling, people might judge u differently right.or maybe u will be lost once again.

u are worth it. u have to know that .

well see u later. hope in better condition.

satu hari lagi lewat...minggu ini seharusnya cukup menyenangkan karena ada libur di tengah minggu tapi untuk kembali ke rutinitas membuat jadi malas.

begitu banyak yang terjadi di sekeliling gue beberapa minggu belakangan ini. ada sahabat2 ku yang bingung ( penggambaran paling ringan dari masalah hati mereka) dalam kehidupan percintaan. pertanyaan yang jadi nomor satu adalah : klo memang apa yang dirasakan begitu mendalam kenapa semua jadi berantakan?

hubungan yang berjalan lama, ternyata hancur karena masalah tingkah laku. itupun kalo ditilik lebih lanjut terkadang membuat gue berpikir apa memang kita,kaum perempuan,terlalu menuntut? awalnya ingin kompromi tapi pasangan malah merasa terpaksa? apakah suatu hubungan yang sudah lama seharusnya menjadi lebih mengerti satu sama lain atau malah semakin mendorong menjauh dengan samakin besarnya jurang pemisah.mulai dari cara berpikir, cara berteman,dan masih banyak lainnya.

tapi bila itu menjadi jurang kenapa masih ada keinginan kuat untuk tetap ingin bersama.ingin mencoba memperbaiki.kebanyakan itu semua dari si perempuan lagi. apakah kita memang makhluk yang persistent atau terlalu berharap?? hehehehe...........

terus ada lagi yang bermasalah dengan cari kerja dan juga pekerjaan. cari kerja susah saat dapat kerja ada aja yang kurang sedangkan saat dapat kerja yang menyenangkan tetap aja ada yang kurang juga. well memang rumput tetangga akan selalu lebih hijau yah.

tetapi kenapa gue sendiri cenderung lagi afek datar yah...hehehe kayak arie aja gue yah. sedikit goyah hanya karena kemaren rabu dapat kabar ola polonia,omanya elin meninggal tiba2.itu doang yang bikin gue sedikit merasa bahwa masih ada perasaan gue ternyata yah... kangen juga ketemu ma mama agus n om parera =p

So lonnnggggg........

been such a long time since i pour my heart n mind...its been the residence of my work day after day...this is the work i wanted but it really suck my mind n time out. everything needs sacrifice right... u got one but lose other.

a lot of people come my way... a lot of experience make my perspective wider... i know myself litle by little. ternyata dari setiap kepribadian itua da lapisan2 yg bayak n complicated...
rasa sayang itu ada banyak lapisan...rasa benci juga begitu... kembali ke orang nya msing2 untuk mempermudah atau mengikuti kerumitan lapisan itu... but i guess thats the phenomena of life... walaupun mnrt g klo manusia bisa lebih mudah mengembil arti kehidupan dr fase2 yg dihadapi g yakin masalah2 yg dihadapi tiap mns atu bahkan suatu negara akan lebih mudah...semua akan tenteran dan damai. but i guess that hard way to go. bahkan alasan cinta aja bisa jadi perang.

i know now that i want to get my psycholog degree...so i can be onsultant or maybe opening a beureau... i like to hear what ithers felt...i want to help them that have something deep in their thought.
i know i need a long way to go...but its okay to have a dream right =)

i know my precious moments is with my friend n love ones...it really fill my heart with happiness.... i sad when my friend sad,i wanto to help them happy although just by listening their problem...

God Bless...........

Recap of 3months

here i go again.....in nowhere land.....searching for something in my mind,in my life,in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blogger ini menjadi bagian hidup g buat nguras otak gue yg klo dah kepenuhan.utk saat ini cukup butuh waktu jg buat kepenuhan yah..... its been 3months i dont write anything.

this is a recap of this past 3months.

i moved job again.from the rimau (the one in harmony) to daan mogot again.this one ive become HR....although at first i still searcing to become a good n capable HR..i know i become better :p but srill the trauma coz by experience from working rimau still haunted me.im afraid suddenly the region head or my GM doesnt like without telling me.dont like my personality no coz of my work......
it haunted me like an owl searching for mouse...............
i try to thank for His blessing coz i only jobless for around 2 weeks before i got this job where i become HR,the work that i want to be coz of my background of course n in here i become supervisor...not bad right??although the responsibilty behind it also big....kinda jumping 2 steps of stairs at once.
thats the story of my prof life...

my personal on the other hand....its okay...on sept ona come jkt for her sista wedding....we hung out for couple of times....withthe cav ganks n of course dami n tito. although im in the middle of working so i can be around much.but il ove when we hung out,tell story of our life n around us.laugh togeher....its make life easier at that time before come back to real life.see benny after a long time with his new haircut n colour (ciee yg mau jd famous.......)

my bday on sept 17th is unforgetabble coz the ganks give me book n we can hung out together.anton give me shirts of god inc,the one that i want.luv u hani bani heehehe.........

i think thats it...i try to balance between prof n personal life...coz in prof life i know thats not fully me,bcoz i hev to bcome they leader not their friend.instead i also balance bwtween with my friends n with anton....i need that to recharge myself when i come to office every monday especially.

skarang dah mau lebaran...ga brasa bgt deh...g dpt libur 10hr yg kbanyakan g pake buat ngumpul ma anak2 n jalan2 ma anton tanpa hrs kpikiran cepet2 pulang krn bsok kerja heheheheh.....walau tetep sdikit mikirin kantor krn g hrs cek jg satpam yg jaga bener2 ga kmana2.krn kantor g walau libur dr tgl 31 tp ada yg stby utk teknisi dr 31-2nov.blm kantor yg d bks jg hrs d cek....lumayan deh bikin pulsa habis heehehhe.....

tp g seneng bgt buat keh g 3bln ini serta liburan lebaran ini krn banyak karunia dr Tuhan buat g.....g smakin brasa kebaikan dia mengingatkan g akan ssorg yg harus g mulai belajar memaafkan.seperti Dia bilang maafkanlah musuh2mu...itu adl yg terberat....yah....hanya Tuhan yg bisa bantu g buat forgive n forget.

Well itu dulu kalee yah....

Suddenly u think...........

i never thought i would be in this position........... i really dont like it.this is the dillema of anything that ive told people not to do when they are in this position.Coz i know logically u have to choose.but it so hard.one hand this is where u already write down ur history together all these years,if u think as a blank paper.but when u see the story in that paper,u become more thoughtfull about everything but u never decided to ended the story coz a lot of thing make u tired but never desperate. but now u see ur other hand where other blank paper start to fill with words of hope n affection. story that i thought i never ever gone through again. story that i never think so much can tore my mind and my heart.

just a flash of something,i start to write that other paper. i have my own story along the way but never think to write in different blank paper.just think this is something along the way.
i really confused right now.im so happy i can feel the butterfly again but on the other hand this is dangerous.i become the old me the one that i try to left behind.the one that need chalengge,crave attention,and all others.

when i see the two paper.my heart start to sank and feel a whole inside of me.i only can pray.but still something inside my head echo 'how about if this is the truth??'
how i ever answer the question.its like one foot on the inside room n other start walking outside??i want to inside and just feel safe but the other i want to try something new so i know which one best? but do i suppose to go outside to know that??
o God.....it stuck in my head.for the first time of my life,i feel the tingle since day one.have u ever feel that?? i know its not logic.but that is what i felt when we first met.i crave so much............
for all u out there who know me.....what should i do????This is the time i really need some backup.i cant decide or wont? i dont know............

='(

Life of his own

Life of my own

day by day, step by step
like a little child learning to walk.
one step ahead from another.

time goes by like a ghost,
stealing your time and experience
hide in every corner of your life
to take it all,before you realize.

you only see in you memory
what time has stolen....
if u cant even notice it
it gone like the wind
without any trace.

cherich every moment u have
like it is ur last day.
u wont regret in your memory
or even when u cant trace it anymore.
but you know for sure
that memory has something special
coz you cherish it...

every step has its own mark.
believe it or not,
it will leave marks....

So follow your path of life
Coz that is Life of my own.

life is a Journey

well ive been through a tough week.thinking about my decision n experience for taking a new job. it is really like jump off a cliff coz u dont know what lay ahead. but after thinking through it all, i have to be wiser in life and dont want to be quitter. untung keadaan keluarga g ga bikin g org yg gampang putus asa.

hampir g jd org yg kerjanya complain terus n ga liat sekeliling dulu. walau tetep ada pelajarannya bhw ga sgampang itu make choice n ga boleh cepet2. bener jg kt viana sebelumnya background check is a must!!!

life is a journey (ngutip kt tamara blezynnski yg lg naek daun beritanya) semua ada jalannya dah akan mengarah ke jalah lain....jd ikutin aja...setiap persimpangan membuat kita berpikit lebih matang dan menguatkan hati. hanya seekor keledai yg akan masuk ke lubang yg sama 2x. hal ini berlaku dalam semua aspek kehidupan. saat logika terhenti dan manusia mencari alasan maka dia termasuk org yg ga pasrah serta dibutakan.

Kemaren g br d wisuda...seru bgt d, dgn dandanan yg berbeda bgt d...g pake kebaya loeh...bonyok datengdr menado trus pd nginep d Hilton, compliment dr temen kantor bokap g P'Kafi Kurnia. dsana segerombolan brg lusi+cesar.... prosesinya bikin g ngantuk bgt d... udah g jauh duduknya ma beni...deg2an ternyata yah d wisuda tp sisanya ngantuk heehhehe...

siangnya nat+ane datang...senenngnya d g didatengin walau jd bertanya2 pd saat temen2 g wisuda, g dmana yah?? hiks..hiks...

mudah2aqn g bisa dtg utk sumpah nat+ane...ato klo ada ntar yg kul s2 d jkt tp kaleee =p

g ma anak2 itu dibawa liat pameran handicraft d hall sebelah...lumayan d batik2nya...g mau d jd pemakai batik sayang yg bagus tp mahal2 a.k.a toyer kt ane tp sayang krn g masih pake hak tinggi bikin g ga nyaman bgt n kaki belas jdnya...

pas sore brenang d hotel perih bgt.....tp view d kolam renangnya keren bgt d....

malemnya g tepar d kecapean....trus hari ii back to kantor lg.....

L.O.V.E

When you love someone, you'll do crazy things you can't explain, you'll deny the truth and believe in lies. When you love someone, you sacrifice, give everything you've got and dont think twice.

Love is the feeling we fall in and out of, and every time we fall off, we learn to hold on tighter...hoping that next time, we may never have to let go. They say when love knocks at your door, open it. But do you know that sometimes love enters through the back door and before you begin to notice it, it's on it's way out. why? bcoz u to focus on front door then forget bout the one that back u up truthfully.

Have you ever loved only to let it go?.. Have you ever hated someone and loved him so?.. Have you ever missed someone so bad it made you cry?.. Have you ever seen someone left alone without knowing why? ..
True: Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.

Love is not the right word to say when you feel guilty nor the right word to say when you like a person but love really matters when we share our thoughts, our minds, and our hearts...

Life has a way of changing things but not the joy that friendship brings, for friendship is like the shining moon, makes each night a brighter one. Love is not for beauty or color of the skin, but for a heart that is loyal within, for beauty fades and the skin would grow old but a heart that is loyal will never turn cold.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

The past is meant to be used as a tool for the future.

Bad experiences indeed make you bitter but the lessons learned should make you better.

On letting go: it hurts to see someone you love happy with somebody else;

but wouldn't it hurt you more to see that person unhappy...with you?

When you find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst, then you have found true love.

Someday, someone might come into your life and love you in a way you always wanted.

If your someday was yesterday.. LEARN
If your someday is tomorrow.. HOPE
If your someday is today.. CHERISH.

GBU

dear me,

wuih what a long time since i read n wrote this blogger... i miss u hehehe....i miss a lot of people nih...kmaren g ngutak ngatik friendster n liat temen2 santi n ternyata ada anak d3 inggris gtu dr temennya santi n g cari2 muka2 yg g kenal n u all know hat ada sammy hehehe lucu bgt deh...jgn2 tu anak dah jd esmod lg...ternyata setau g dia pacaran ma...aduh g lupa namany tp tauorgnya d...wah tp mo punya ce pa ga tetep lucu hehehe...........

jgn pd mikir macem2 yah....g suka tu org seblum bgt ma anton sekitar th 99 pas g masuk d3 inggris.... suatu keputusan yg g sesali meninggalkan ui tsb pdhal g tinggal 2sem kasarnya cm gara2 sulit bgt ktemu ma dekan buat cuti akhirnya g keluar bener2 deh...hiks sedihnya pdhal asyik bgt d suasana belajar...g mo cuek2 aja jg bisa klo mo gaul jg bisa....wallau g ga beljar d rumaha tp krn belajarnya kontinu gut jd enak aja gtu...

g br email temen g yg paling deket d situ yaitu mia...wah masih pd inget g ga yah?? well klo ga yah pasrah deh...jd inget masa2 d ui deh...n suasana kampus yg enak bgt tu...

wuah.... suah deh...thats the past lah yah...

skrg d kantor lg pusing bgt lg gara2 tiba2 ada blank signal gtu d jakarta...udah deh pd complain semua n g jg bingung lg info apa soalnya kan belum ketahuan permasalhannya apa?!!! skrg sih ktnya dah solved tp masih ada juga tuh yg complain...pusing deh...untung tinggal bentar lg g dah mo pulang n besok libur!!!

g mo ngurus wisuda nih besok ma benny klo jadi n trus ktemu ma naka2 deh...skalian talk about aire...hope she can solve her problem for the best.

Somebody Out there

Somebody out there are looking at me,

Somebody will be there for me

in good times and bad time,

especially when u down on ur knees

they will feel u with warness in ur heart.

in times we forget about them,

especially when u so busy with ur ambition.

so caught up with individual life.

but.....

here they are, when u need the most.

they just pop out of the blue forr u.

with their attention and they ears

to listen n hug u

without any pretention.

They are ur true friend,

without boundaries of land or time.

They love u for who u are

although they not always on ur mind

but time will tell,

who u truly friends are.

I love u all..............

u all complete me and teach me

without u all know.

God Bless

me today.........

dear me,

hari ini g lagi libur nih...lg d warnet ma ane...wah bbrp hari ini warnet lagi tempat tongkrongan fave hehehe.... apalg nath dgn gebetan baru nya hehehe...jd pingin ktawa g inget permasalahn gebetan ini huahahah.... makanya ibu vania kayak ga kenal temen kita deh...siapa cb yg bisa mengalahkan pesona nath eheheh...knapa ga ada yg ngejar g yah...temen2 g kayakya lg pd dikejar2 yg untungnya buka karena ngutang hehehe...

ane dgn para laki2 terindahnya namun belum menemukan pilihan...nath dgn co 2 yg mengelilinginya namun masih dgn ketidakpastian akan mau dirinya sendiri.... arie yah itu aja sih tp... ups masalah kel ga boleh ....

klo g yah masih dengan cinta sesaat g hehehe cinta apa sih bo.... pokoknya seperti Jie un (ngarang ) bilang CHAYO!!!

uuhhh kangen k bdg n jalan2 ma beeeepppp maap harus di sensor... utk kerahasiaan pihak2 yg tdk ingin disebutkan namanya...hehehe

kemaren akhirnya g nelp tu anak... bawrl bgt d tp jd nya malah enak ga perlu mikir2 mo ngomong apa...g minta dititipan ma bonyoknya kartika sari sayang malah dah berangkat bt d.... lg ngidan KS nih dgn browniesnya ...mmmhhhh... enak nya...

well its okay if i just menikmati perasaan ini kan?? this is not worong right?? or it is?? well i know where the boundaries n hope i dont jump over it.... buat teman2 ku...this is just a phase of my life....

dear me,

im feeling so down this past few days....co ive been holding back ome feeling...i dont know if it alright but i know it for the best. i know im strong enough but it still haunt me... this is just a phase my best friend said...i know deep down thats true but i dont know....i like this feeling that for a long time i dont felt it anymore.... i love this ride of feeling.....

this is where my sanity keep me on the ground... i hev to finish it although i know whenu come to feeling u cant just end it but i hev to find a way... i once can make it that miracle ,i know now i can too...
i thankful that he is o kind to me that i dont have regret just memories about someone that i adore for a while. a memories that can be remembered everytime i want...the feeling...the butterfly...all what i did n how he so nice to me.... like im his friend n he know what it felt to like someone that not in right place or time...
im glad still holding me that i dont broke.... this i my weakne,when im feeling in love...i really become vulnerable but the strength from HIM n myelf that wont anybody see how weak i am keed holding me...

Ku tak tahu mengapa rasa itu hadir.
Memenuhi sisi yg tak kukira ada.

Ku tak tahu keberadaanmu kapan kan berakhir
Mengisi relung yang terdalam.

Ku tahu ku harus melewati semua asa mengalir,
dengan senyum tanpa penyesalan.

a journey has its own start and end. this is part of my jouney of life that i have to handle.

PETERPAN - Di atas Normal

tak dapat ku mengerti di kepala kepala di kaki

Pikiranku patutnya menyadari Siapa yang harus dan tak harus ku cari

Tetapi tak dapatku mengerti . Sesuatu yang baru ku sadari

Kau tinggalkanku tanpa sebab yang pasti Sesuatu yang harusnya terjadi

Kau sakiti aku kau yang harus ku benci

Tetapi tak dapatku menyesal dapatku mengerti Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai

Dapatku menertawai dapatku mengerti

Reff: Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang telah mati

AKu mencari hati yang ku benci

Oooh... ku mencari sesuatu yang tak kembali Ku mencari hati yang ku benci

Tetapi tak dapatku menertawai Dapatku menertawai dapatku Menertawai dapatku mengerti

Oooh... ku mencari tetap tak dapat ku temuiG

AKu mencari hati yang ku benci

isi hati terdalam neh...lagi bodoh bgt bbrp hari in gue!!!

dunno what to think, to feel even to make decision of something so absurd... omg.... ga jelas!!!