I Only Want to be With You

Vonda Shepard I Only Want to Be With You

I don't know what is that makes me love you so
I only know I never wanna let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see?
That ever since we met you've ahd a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey, I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

ini lagu gambarin perasaan g bgt.apalg skrg disaat seperti ini buat g gelisah dan berpikir negatif krn ketakutan g.i only want to be with you.that the only thing i need.mulai skrg g akan membiarkan hal2 lain menutupi bahwa g mau disampingnya dalam keadaan apapun.g ingin liat dia tersenyum dan tertawa saat bersama gue.

Rollercoaster of my feeling

akhirnya rollercoaster of my feeling dimulai...ups n down so fast buat perut g sakit,hati g seperti diremes remes dan otak kmana mana. gimana cara menghentikan otak g yg melayang ntah kmana.
g skrg bagaikan org yg hrs menyebrang dr satu gedung k gedung lain dgn melewati jembatan yg kecil. terkadang merasakan kpastian langkah tapi terkadang merasakan limbung.
kemaren tanpa terasa apa yg g pikir dah g buang jauh2 keluar lg.perasaan rendah diri, perasaan tdk ada yg menyanyangi g dan tdk pantas utk siapapun, semua keluar begitu saja.kelimbungan yg suka melanda g bila g bersama sesorang.

td malam g terpekur dan berpikir knapa g hrs merasaakn seperti itu. tampaknya ketakutan akan ditinggalkan muncul karena perasaan pengorbanan yg g lakukan bertahun tahun ternyata tdk hilang bersama angin begitu saja.g pun menyalahkan diri g kenapa tdk bisa lebih keras dgn diri g sendiri utk keluar dari hubungan yg tdk sehat secepatnya.
Sekarang hati g merasakan akibatnya menjadi sulit percaya bahwa g berharga dan bahwa g pantas disayangi.mwnjadi curiga dan cemburuan.
buat diri g dan dirinya g hrs kembali menjadi org yg seperti dulu.Orang yang patut dibanggakan oleh pasangan g.bukan berarti menjadi trauma tp g hrs lebih baik.

Tuhan tolong tunjukan krn dia terlalu berharga untuk dilepas hanya krn masalah ini.Biarkan mengalir apa adanya jgn sampai terbawa arus perasaan g sendiri.

from goodreads

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”"
— Anonymous
source: goodreads.com

i kinda found this man but still part of.can he be the man or cant he ?? can this privilege of mine will range out of time or die by the time.
I just want him to know that i love him so much.Although i get angry sometimes but its all for the best of our relationship.I want to live with him legally but i know there are obstacles that we have to fight would he fought for this relationship? Maybe this is to early to ask or just me who think it is?
Is he feel lucky to have me?Is he feel that he love by me?Is he feel that he need me to be part of his life?
I always take him wherever i go.I always think of him whatever i do.He is becoming part of my life now.

me,myself n him

gudmorning...

Mengapa masih sering terjadi peperangan di hati g. g tau g berhak untuk bahagia.g berhak untuk bisa merasakan disayang dan juga untuk menyayangi.Manakah yg lebih penting disayang atau menyayangi? some of my friends said to be loved coz we are woman after all but others said to love... i still dont know which one is mine.
First i think i choose to be in love although the man dont love me i would be okay or maybe he love me but not as much as mine. Tapi saat g ngerasain ketidakseimbangan itu ternyata membuat g depresi sendiri.apalg klo tnyata co itu msh egosentris akan semakin jomplang hubungannya.
Lalu ada laki2 yg out of nowhere said he love me. g cb untuk memikirkan tapi g tnyata tidak berani melangkah krn perasaan lebih sebagai teman.

Terkadang pemikiran ini melintas di otak g but tetep g ga bisa memilih which one is better. mungkin lebih baik bila saling mencintai tapi sekali lagi pasti banyak yg membantah ga mungkin ada yg seimbang pasti ada yg lebih mencintai.

fiuh ptanyaan terlihat mudah tp bisa bikin lo pusing yah... klo utk kasus g skrg i think i m the one that more but so far dalam tindakan masih seimbang. g merasakan dicintai dan mencintai ( cccciiiieeee........)
namun krn kelamaan menggunakan otak drpd perasaan terkadang g msh suka terselip rasa takut akan sakit. hal ini ga berani g katakan krn nanti dia akan merasa g ga bener2 lagi pdhal cb dia bisa liat hati g wuah dah 110% kali yah.eh kt org tua ga boleh deng 100% ktnya 99% aja utk 1% nya buat jaga2 diri ^_^

ive never feel this way even from the one that i called my first love (wuah klo si jelek baca pasti gr d ) mungkin krn apa yg kita jalani lebih dalam dan bener2 dr hati k hati jdnya beda dgn jaman2 masa2 skul/kul. ada keseriusan tersendiri tapi tetap santai.tetap ga percaya g punya privilege utk dpt merasakan ini lagi dalam hidup g yg hampir berubah angka setahun lagi.
Hal ini akan menjadi tolok ukur utk gmana g memandang org yg berhak mendapatkan diri g. temen2 dekat g banyak yg bilang yg dpt g beruntung tp g suka bilang kemana org yg beruntung itu? g dah melewati masa2 membutuhkan seseorang dan masa2 berasa ga perlu siapapun di dunia ini.so i think i can handle myself more then when im with someone krn g jdnya lebih mikirin org lain.tapi satu yg g pelajari mudah2an ga kejadian ma g yah spt yg anak2 bilang klo dah lewat angka 30 n blm nikah ktnya ada sindrom perawan tua well mudah2an g ga jd cewe yg nyinyir n yg baek cm ma co doang heueuheuheuehuehu.........
ga banget deh.....

udah ah mesti kerja lagi klo ga brainstorming g bisa makin parah =*

foto diatas my sapi jelek ^_^

new...

hellow...
semua berasa baru deh.g jadi lebih cemburuan trus jd agak2 childish apalg depan ayang ku...huehuehue siapa tuh.wah maaf yang ayang klo km dpt aku yg jd cemburuan n rese heueuhueh tapi buat sayang ke kamu ga ada yg ngalahin deh. g seneng bgt ada yg bisa manjain g.walau dia ga banyak ngomong tp g skrg bener2 berasa bahwa action speaks louder.apalg klo ayang ku lg kangen ma aku ato g lg ngambek hueheuhe yg agak2 sering g lakukan tp bentar semua bisa g rasakan.mang sih jdnya ga gombal walau terkadang dia mengagetkan g dgn kata2 jg.br honbun ku yg panggil g ayang dan br dia yg ga jijik denger g manggil sayang, honey, beib n segala panggilan hina dina tp begitu lancar g ucapkan buat dia seorang.
hidp g penuh warna ga cm hitam dan abu-abu seperti dulu dengan kehadiran dia.g suka hati g yg kangen ma dia walau cm denger suaranya.sekali kali liat mukanya yg g bilang muka sombong tp klo dah becanda really2 cute n comical. even when i write this i picture him on my mind n smile.
i try to balance my hormon more coz i dont want keep annoy him with my annoying behavior.he deserve me better.walau ada kelupaan sedikit yg buat g kepikiran tp itu ga menodai keseluruhan.g maklum krn hub ini br bentar.tampaknya jg hub yg wajar beda di pandangan dia dgn g.

i miss jelek...i want my ayang,with him i can picture my life with him all the time. can i stay together but in this eastern culture we need the legal staff.i dont know if i want to get married with him or others but i know for sure i want to be with himeveryday although we will take all the time we have to make this relationship not monoton.

i really can say I love u ayang AW