closer to the edge..............
thats the word that can describe myself from day by day that i walk through. Maybe this feeling accumulate coz its been long time since i meet u God. I starting to surpress n hide my real feeling bcoz i want everybody see im alright.but the truth the rage is hidden deep that even i can pretend.
im tired with the responsibility in office that i can even grasp. i try to hold on to one side but eventually the other side start to loosen up. it happens all the time. sometimes i just want ran away from all this.
why this words i keep hearing from others and when they say that words... i can calmly say that its human. Bcoz we are from flesh and blood that have our own need not to be burden. Need to fly away and be free. Alas we all have responsibility that take us to real word.
i so used to hide things and make my head fully loaded.sometimes i can cry suddenly when i saw a movie or just part of the scene. i know this is the symptoms of my tiredness (is that a word ?? ) whatever....
i really need to get things out of my chest. bcoz it affected my perspective of things. i start to think that i better left alone. i just need people to be around me but not relationship bcoz it full of hope n wanting. i like lying on my bed, watch tv, n call my friends that i wanted, hang out with people that i want n its all without hoping if that people want to or not.
it really exhausting this kind of relationship.they want a piece of me without have to give out something from them?? what is the rality of take n give?? everybody hev their own ego.... they want what they want period.
i can blabbing all day but still i know i need them but want to be free of them....
SUCKS...............
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